For families

Grief support, after

The casseroles stop around week three. The phone calls stop around week six. Then it gets quiet, and that is usually when it actually starts.

It runs for a year, and that is on purpose

Bereavement support is part of the Medicare hospice benefit and it costs the family nothing. We stay in contact for a year after a death, which is built around a simple observation: the hard days are not the first week. They are the first birthday, the first Thanksgiving, the first anniversary, and the ordinary Tuesday eight months later when you go to call her about something.

What it actually looks like

• Someone checks in. By phone, on a schedule, without you having to ask.
• One-to-one support with a counsellor or our chaplain, if you want it.
• Practical help in the first weeks, when there is a surprising amount of paperwork and nobody has the patience for it.
• A referral if what you need is more than we provide. We will say so rather than keep you.

Things people are relieved to hear

• Feeling relief is normal. After a long illness, relief and grief arrive together. It does not mean you loved them less.
• There is no schedule. Anyone who tells you where you should be at six months is making it up.
• It can get worse before it gets better. Month four is frequently harder than month one, because the adrenaline is gone.
• You can call about something small. Most people wait until they think it is bad enough to justify it. It does not have to be.

If you are worried about someone

Not eating, not leaving the house after several months, drinking more, or talking about not wanting to be here. Call us. We would much rather have a conversation that turns out to be nothing.

If someone is in immediate danger, call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or 911.

Questions

☎ Call (409) 203-7477

Answered 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.